Shame Runs Deep

Shame runs deep.
Its stigma—what someone says or does to you, often projecting their own wounds—can become entangled with your sense of self.

Before we confront shame, we must understand its roots. Shame is a blend of words, actions, and judgments imposed by someone in no rightful place to define who you are. In its harshest form, it’s loud, blatant, and deeply hurtful.

No person—not even a parent—has the right to decide your worth. A parent’s true role is to guide, protect, and nourish. Nourish the body, the creativity, the joy, the problem-solving spark, and the soul—so it can soar.

Real love never disparages. Whether from parents, caregivers, teachers, or relatives, shame often reflects their unresolved pain. As trauma increasingly rises to the surface, maybe it's not coincidence—it surfaces to be seen and healed.

Trauma’s path isn’t linear. Like fingerprints, each person’ s healing is wholly unique. And often, shame is tangled up in the roots.

Here are ways to begin separating yourself from shame:

• Name it. Notice when shame lands—maybe a flinch, a blush, a spike in heart rate, clenched teeth. Start with awareness.

• Silently call it what it is. Shame.

• Decide not to react right away. Often, silence is a shield. Think of it as not revealing your hand in a high-stakes game.

• Hold your power quietly. For example, if a friend makes a snide comment, reflect: is this a pattern? Are they under stress, or is this revealing something deeper about the friendship? Choose whether to address it—or to walk away.

• Use silence as strength in relationships with parents, teachers, or bosses. When possible, confide in a trusted authority or mentor. Sometimes, the most powerful move is choosing a new path.

·  Seek guidance from your Higher Power. Prayer can fortify and illuminate.

Doing this work is the essence of self-care. As you disentangle shame, you make space for a life that reflects your true worth. Keep going. And always—genuinely—take good care of you.